If you listen to the radio, flip through TV channels, or pick up a newspaper, you probably already know that the religious right is warning the public at large about the dangers of SpongeBob Squarepants. Somehow, this innocent yellow sponge has been forced into the ranks of those dangerous rabble rousers known as Barney and Tinky-Winky.

We are to shield our children from the sponge because he is one of hundreds of cartoon characters featured in a video that — horrors! — preaches tolerance. How dare he!

SpongeBob, Arthur, Winnie the Pooh and other beloved cartoon characters are featured in a video — with voice-over provided by Bill Cosby — produced by We Are Family Foundation, a group whose mission is to foster a greater understanding of cultural differences. Those of you who are around my age may remember the disco hit by the same title, performed by Sister Sledge. You’ll recall that there is nothing pro-homosexual about the song. According to the cowriter of the song (who also happens to be the producer of the video), the same holds true for the video, which is slated to be televised next month on numerous television networks.

Several Christian groups, including Focus on the Family and American Family Association, are warning of the subversive message of the video, claiming it advocates, even celebrates, homosexuality. What in the name of God, goddess, Allah, Buddha, whatever, is wrong with these people?

A couple years ago, the religious right attacked the purple Teletubby known as Tinky Winky. Surely he must be gay — he carries a purse! I managed to laugh at that one, because anyone who has kids knows that all kids like to carry purses, dress up, pretend. There’s no danger or harm in doing so, that is, until paranoid adults force their own agenda on innocent child’s play and turn something creative into something “evil.”

I remember this same constituency going after Barney, and even my old childhood pals, Bert and Ernie. All these people could focus on was that Bert and Ernie were both males who liked to cook, grow plants and share a bedroom. Said the Reverend Joseph Chambers, “If this isn’t meant to represent a homosexual union, I can’t imagine what it’s supposed to represent.” Does it dawn on anyone that we’re talking about puppets here? Legless puppets, at that?

And now, they’ve got their twisted minds focused on SpongeBob Squarepants. This goes beyond pathetic and crosses over into psychosis, as far as I’m concerned. SpongeBob is a compassionate, albeit dramatic, character who always tries to do the right thing, no matter how difficult doing so might be. If anything, his character is asexual, and that’s why his fan base includes equal numbers of boys and girls. How he ever got tagged as being gay is beyond me; I know lots of homosexual men, and I can’t think of one of them who would be caught dead wearing brown shorts with white crew socks.

I may sound sarcastic, but deep down, I’m baffled and truly alarmed by adults who have nothing better to do with their time than try to inflict their agendas on our children. These are people whose religion preaches tolerance, yet whose actions and words belie their hypocrisy. Here we have a video that encourages youngsters to be accepting of people who might not be like themselves, whose skin color is different, whose family is different, whose culture is different. It takes a sick person, in my opinion, to turn that into something evil or dangerous. Sick, with a slice of perverted on the side.

Focus on the Family’s founder, James Dobson, sees the video “as manipulating and brainwashing kids,” a “classic bait and switch.” Incredibly, the Family Research Council has its own “homosexuality detection expert” and calls words like “diversity” and “tolerance” a “coded language” of the homosexual community.

If this wasn’t so disturbing, it would be funny. As it is, we are being warned about a little yellow (animated) man full of holes who supposedly is giving his blessing to homosexual unions, and we are to beware of letting our children watch his TV show because this mighty sea sponge is hellbent on corrupting our youth.

Tell me — who’s more in need of God’s help here? Carefully prescribed medication couldn’t hurt, either.

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